'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize