Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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