I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Randomize
