just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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