he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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