Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
