My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
