where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
