I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
