I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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