i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
