chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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