Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
