It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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