Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
