That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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