4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
