All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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