That's when you crack a 10am beer
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
