Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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