I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
