His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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