it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
