we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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