Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Randomize
