He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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