Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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