you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
