ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
