I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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