This is not my ceiling
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
