The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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