when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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