Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
