That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
