I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
