As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
