Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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