Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
