if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
