after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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