By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
