Jerry, you need to find god
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize