Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
