she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
where am i from again
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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