found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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