I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
