i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
