If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
