I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
