it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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