I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
