just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's official drugs can't kill me
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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