He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
