Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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