You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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