I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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