When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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