conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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