a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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