I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I got inside last night via doggy door
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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