i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
