Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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