dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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